Old Photographs & Past Memories

Waking up. Lying in my bed, it seemed at if it would be just another Sunday morning.

Blinking my eyes a few times, looking towards the window to see a glimmer of light trying to make it’s way through the curtains covering the window. I turn on my side to check if I still have battery in my cellphone so I can check the time and any missed messages. Soon after seeing the time, I quickly decided that I wasn’t going to go to church today.

Though I woke up a little late because I was awake until about 3am watching “The Fugitive” a few hours earlier, I really wasn’t too tired. So I decided to finish cleaning up my room, especially since I still haven’t fully unpacked and organized all my things which has been lingering all over my room for about 2 weeks now. I start by making up my bed, then organizing everything that was on my dresser. As I began to place things into different drawers, I saw an old photograph I haven’t seen in years. It was a little damaged and marked up, but I quickly recognized it (below: a picture of me and a girl I used to have a crush on in college; it was taken about 15 years ago) … and suddenly I was captured in my past feelings, as I totally felt the feelings of the person in the image.

stillman college jason perry karen cheeseboroI was taken back to the Spring of 1999, in the dense country outskirts of the college town Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I felt the cool afternoon breeze that was passing through. Even now, as I look at the guy in the picture; I see my past immaturity with women so clearly, and childlike innocence when it came to being around a girl I liked. The girl in the picture was someone I really liked, she was my college crush! I remember her as being so beautiful, intelligent and different than any other girl that I had ever met. I won’t even try to go into everything about our relationship; what basically happened is that I had the opportunity to date her, but I didn’t have the confidence to pursue her. So, our relationship was cordial and flirty. I honestly feel like it basically ended almost as soon as it began, because I didn’t return to that college after that semester.

She was my crush and at the time all I could see was our differences, because of my immaturity and low confidence. She was a junior and she was popular … and I was a freshman. I promise you, though I definitely had an outer appearance of confidence when I was with her, in my heart I didn’t have a clue of why she would like someone like me.
The relationship I had with her shows me a few things about myself and other revelations about life and choices. One thing it shows me, is that you can’t undervalue heartfelt mutual loving relationships… if I thought that it was easy to meet and develop a relationship with another woman like her, I was definitely WRONG! And anyone who is reading this, if you find someone that loves you for you, don’t undervalue them.

karen cheeseboro-mcgowan_familyWhen I met her I knew she was special, and I honestly hope she’s doing well. So, after looking at the old photo, I had to end up finding her on Facebook :P , and I found out that she currently has a beautiful family of a few kids and a loving husband! I looked at the picture of her family and I was so happy for her :) . Though I haven’t seen or talked to this woman in 15 years, the impression she had on my life has helped to make me the man who I am now. And regardless if she has ever thought about me since the Spring of 1999, I’m so happy to have known her for the short time I did.

Life is short, and it’s all about living and learning. People come and they go. We are even passing through this life on earth. As I am currently trying to find my wife, I understand that life for me doesn’t stop at marriage. Life is for the living, and it’s a journey; hopefully I will find someone to share it with. And when I get old, I’ll have taken some pictures that will leave memories that will be treasured forever.