Waking up. Lying in my bed, it seemed at if it would be just another Sunday morning.
Blinking my eyes a few times, looking towards the window to see a glimmer of light trying to make it’s way through the curtains covering the window. I turn on my side to check if I still have battery in my cellphone so I can check the time and any missed messages. Soon after seeing the time, I quickly decided that I wasn’t going to go to church today.
Though I woke up a little late because I was awake until about 3am watching “The Fugitive” a few hours earlier, I really wasn’t too tired. So I decided to finish cleaning up my room, especially since I still haven’t fully unpacked and organized all my things which has been lingering all over my room for about 2 weeks now. I start by making up my bed, then organizing everything that was on my dresser. As I began to place things into different drawers, I saw an old photograph I haven’t seen in years. It was a little damaged and marked up, but I quickly recognized it (below: a picture of me and a girl I used to have a crush on in college; it was taken about 15 years ago) … and suddenly I was captured in my past feelings, as I totally felt the feelings of the person in the image.
I was taken back to the Spring of 1999, in the dense country outskirts of the college town Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I felt the cool afternoon breeze that was passing through. Even now, as I look at the guy in the picture; I see my past immaturity with women so clearly, and childlike innocence when it came to being around a girl I liked. The girl in the picture was someone I really liked, she was my college crush! I remember her as being so beautiful, intelligent and different than any other girl that I had ever met. I won’t even try to go into everything about our relationship; what basically happened is that I had the opportunity to date her, but I didn’t have the confidence to pursue her. So, our relationship was cordial and flirty. I honestly feel like it basically ended almost as soon as it began, because I didn’t return to that college after that semester.
She was my crush and at the time all I could see was our differences, because of my immaturity and low confidence. She was a junior and she was popular … and I was a freshman. I promise you, though I definitely had an outer appearance of confidence when I was with her, in my heart I didn’t have a clue of why she would like someone like me.
The relationship I had with her shows me a few things about myself and other revelations about life and choices. One thing it shows me, is that you can’t undervalue heartfelt mutual loving relationships… if I thought that it was easy to meet and develop a relationship with another woman like her, I was definitely WRONG! And anyone who is reading this, if you find someone that loves you for you, don’t undervalue them.
When I met her I knew she was special, and I honestly hope she’s doing well. So, after looking at the old photo, I had to end up finding her on Facebook :P , and I found out that she currently has a beautiful family of a few kids and a loving husband! I looked at the picture of her family and I was so happy for her :) . Though I haven’t seen or talked to this woman in 15 years, the impression she had on my life has helped to make me the man who I am now. And regardless if she has ever thought about me since the Spring of 1999, I’m so happy to have known her for the short time I did.
Life is short, and it’s all about living and learning. People come and they go. We are even passing through this life on earth. As I am currently trying to find my wife, I understand that life for me doesn’t stop at marriage. Life is for the living, and it’s a journey; hopefully I will find someone to share it with. And when I get old, I’ll have taken some pictures that will leave memories that will be treasured forever.